A Short Circuit (Nicola Forwood, Jack Rose, Phil Hammond & Matt Armstrong take on a Punk Panther Ultramarathon)

It’s important to get a good night’s sleep before a big event so I wasn’t particularly excited to be still up at 1am chatting to a guy from Yorkshire Water about the water flooding up through the floor into my kitchen and hallway. In the end I got 2 hours sleep and had to get up and sort breakfast and final bits of kit while wearing wellies…not the best of starts! Luckily I had been super (and unusually) organised and packed my kit about 3 days prior so there wasn’t much to do. I dragged Poppy out of bed just in time to bundle her into Jack’s car and we were off (after a last minute dash back to the house to turn off the isolation valve to make myself feel better about not coming back to a swimming pool instead of a kitchen).

We pulled up to a gravel car park in Otley as I said ‘Oh, they all look pretty normal?!’ Jack asked me what I was expecting ultra-runners to look like and I’m not sure I really knew. But for one I wasn’t expecting so many women and I guess I was expecting them to look a bit more edgy. Like an elite breed of runner or something, they weren’t, they were all totally normal, actually they all turned out to be really, really lovely.

 

We headed down to Yorkshire Runner for registration and kit check. Does everybody get the feeling that they’ve forgotten something when they’re having a kit check?! I hate that feeling! Oh, actually it was real for Phil who had forgotten to pack his emergency blanket! Schoolboy error Phil – and you’re meant to be a pro at this. It was really exciting to have 4 Hyde Park Harriers on the start line as 3 of us were competing and Matt was Tail Runner.

Team HPH ready to roll!

We all set off and headed up the long climb to the top of the Chevin. It was pretty bizarre to me to start a race and be walking within the first 50m but I guess that just reflected the terrain and the distance (I clearly need to spend more time talking to professionals like Steve Rhodes, and apparently Naomi Farrar has a rule about a marble?!). Within the first 2 miles we saw several people go wrong multiple times which was a decent reminder to concentrate and to really look for the tape (but yellow tape in autumn when tied to trees was interesting to look for). I was a little concerned at how wet and muddy my feet were so early on. It had rained all night the night before, and although we’d been blessed by the Running Weather Fairies on the day, it did mean we got the best of the mud. I realised that although I was confident running over 30 miles in trail shoes that I’d done a maximum of 15 miles in I wasn’t so confident about running for 6 or 7 hours with wet feet!

We ran through Bramhope and Jack was particularly tickled by the days headline so actually backtracked to take a photo which it would be rude not to include:

Slow news day!

Before we knew it we were on familiar ground running the reverse section of Leg 4 of the LCW (it was nice to run down the biggest hill on Leg 4 rather than up it!) which made me smile and relive some of the funnier moments from my recce with CPM. We soon hit CP1 (Cookridge ~5.5 miles) and ran straight on at this checkpoint after having our numbers noted down (we didn’t want any time penalties for missing a checkpoint). Leaving the LCW we headed on towards the airport. This section was one of my favourites as it was the most bizarre running I’ve ever done. We were running in deep mud between two high fences through the airport and it felt like you were in prison. Jack thought it was a bit claustrophobic but I was excited as I just pretended that I was doing the new parkrun in Haverigg Prison which made me feel slightly better about missing my weekly parkrun fix! Something was aggravating Jack’s foot which he tried to run with but as soon as we hit harder ground we had to stop so he could take his horrifically muddy shoe off, only for him to wrestle a 2 inch thorn from the sole of his trainer with his teeth! Shoes back on and we skirted the rest of the airport wondering what on earth we looked like to all the nice clean people in the planes taking off for their holidays. I bet they thought we were mad. To be honest I think I was thinking the same! 

We ran around Yeadon Tarn (I love to take Poppy there so I enjoyed that bit) and on to hit CP2 (New Scarborough ~11.5 miles). We stopped to grab some coke/brownie/flapjack/crisps/peanuts and headed into Guiseley (although I was swearing at myself for not grabbing some Jaffa Cakes too…fuelling is important right?!). We felt confident about this section as we’d done a 10 mile recce a few weeks before so as we headed through the woods to Esholt it was comfortable and familiar running. Next was Hollins Hall and across the golf course, luckily the route had changed here as the original route wasn’t the best from a golfers perspective and we’d received a few interesting comments on our recce. Then we headed into Menston (while I chatted to Yorkshire Water on the phone – no, now was not the best time to carry out on-site investigations, I’m a bit busy) and on to CP3 (Menston ~16 miles). Up to this point we’d pretty much always had people in view, occasionally switching positions with people as we stopped, or they slowed, and at the checkpoint about 6 of us stopped for a decent refuel. Jack was particularly excited about the ‘real’ Fanta while I was disappointed because I’d decided to fill one of my bottles with coke which was not ‘real coke’ at this checkpoint but (what I thought at the time) was nasty Asda coke (which by mile 25 tasted AMAZING!).

We knew we were due some HPH support around here from Lucy Killick so as we climbed up onto Ilkley Moor it was a huge boost to hear some cheering and barking (thanks Bruce) at the top of the hill (oh and the offer of pancakes - thanks Lucy).

Thanks for the photo Lucy, we look pretty fresh for 19 miles!

After a chat, photo-stop and some hugs we were on our way again across Ilkley Moor to the Cow and Calf rocks. We’d been instructed that, while not an official checkpoint, numbers would be checked here and that we had to go around the back of the rocks. After getting checked-off we headed down into Ben Rhydding after some crazy, and somewhat dangerous, rock climbing to avoid the extra ¼ mile safer route (this probably cost us some time because it was windy up on the moor and the descent was hard with cold hands and over 20 miles of tough running in your legs). We lost a few positions to people that knew the best climbing route down, although we were also overtaken by a lady who had been way ahead but who had gotten lost on the Moor so things definitely could have been worse. After running on some seriously tough and muddy terrain we were thankful to have a decent section on road to CP4 (Denton ~22 miles).

 

Still happy at mile 25.

We couldn't have been luckier with the weather, it was a stunning day.

After an uphill section on road, perfect for walking while eating cheese sandwiches and crisps, we climbed up onto Askwith Moor. The weather had been beautiful all day but the light was particularly stunning as we crossed the very boggy Moor, and while the running was tough, it was definitely good for the soul. Continuing on there were gorgeous views across to Blubberhouses and out over the reservoirs.

We passed through Timble (somewhere around here Jack accidentally ripped his number off which I figured meant I’d beaten him by default) and ran down towards some familiar roads from rides with Farhad and Jack as we dropped into Norwood to find the only indoor checkpoint of the day, CP5, inside a church (Norwood ~ 28 miles). The best thing about an indoor checkpoint was being able to wash our muddy hands which we’d been eating with for hours plus this checkpoint had Babybels AND really good SIS energy bars, as well as hot drinks if you were interested. We spent a decent amount of time here eating pretty much everything before establishing that we were doing pretty well position wise and may as well keep pressing on to the finish.

The final section was probably my favourite (despite my feet now complaining about the length of time they’d been in wet, muddy shoes). We’d long lost sight of anyone in front or behind us so there was little rush. As we skirted Lindley Wood Reservoir we ate trail-mix as the sun shone through the trees and I was pretty happy, especially as my Garmin clocked 30 miles. I’ve never run 30 miles before and it felt like a major milestone. Staying in familiar cycling territory we passed through Leathley and before we knew it we were crossing the final few fields of Cows to enter Pool-in-Wharfdale. We found the church and went in to a lovely round of applause and cheering. Although we arrived together I think Jack must have slipped them some money as they placed him one second ahead of me in the results (ladies first Jack!). We finished in 18^th (7.13.54) and 19^th place (7.13.55) and I finished as 4^th female which I was pretty pleased with for my first ultra. Phil finished in 34^th place (8.31.26) after a couple of falls (one at mile 6 and one at mile 32 which was testament to how tough the conditions were, the mud was just crazy but luckily Phil is hard as nails). As tail runner Matt finished just after the 10 hour cut-off at 10.15.00, which was an impressive time to spend on your feet in the mud. The race started with 48 people of which 18 were female.

The technical T-shirt says it was a 50 km race (31 miles), the finisher’s certificate says it was a 53 km race but we ran around 55 km (34 miles) with well over 1200 meters (4000 feet) of climbing. Still, what’s an extra parkrun between friends! The terrain was much tougher than I’d expected mainly due to the heavy rain the night before and the amount of time spent in ankle deep muddy fields and boggy moors. We even had several sections of running through, what felt like rivers, but which was just water run-off.

 

In the church hall we were rewarded with a hot meal, snacks and drinks while we checked out our T-shirt and medal and Jack and I collected our lovely Punk Panther Ultramarathon hoodies. We changed into clean dry clothes and shoes (well mostly, Jack's shoes were still by his front door waiting to be put in the car!). Everyone had a brilliant, if tough, day and I think we’d all do it again next year (Matt has already entered one of the 70 mile options for next year). So take this as a definite recommendation for the Punk Panther events and maybe we can get even more Hyde Park Harriers on the start line next year (http://punkpanther.co.uk/). 

It was honestly much easier than racing a road marathon: The hills, the descents, running on your toes through deep mud, climbing over stiles, going up and down steps, and even rock climbing all keeps your body much looser than the monotony of distance running on road. Running with kit was easier than I thought it would be but my back ached a lot the next day (I might put a FEW less snacks in next time, I packed the entire kitchen cupboard this time, but hey, it is good to be self-reliant). Apart from a couple of small blisters I’m relatively well recovered and back to running with no problems (I’ve ordered my Injinji socks for next time). Hang on, did I just say next time?! That’s right, I think I did, I quite fancy 50 km (ish) as a distance to race. This time Jack and I just enjoyed it but next time I think it’d be fun to push on and see what I can do… watch this space!
 

Unpublished from 8 months ago - laying foundations for my run streak. TRIGGER WARNING!

Here I am, at 33, with much more experience of this world than I ever thought was possible at this age. The experiences I’ve had have been magical and they’ve been cruel.

I have dealt with a subsidence claim on the house, I’ve sat and watched (in an out of body kind of way) as a consultant has told us our lives will never be the same again because Ben has a brain tumour. I’ve sat countless hours alone, in lonely waiting rooms, waiting for Ben to come out of theatre, or out of intensive care. We’ve gone through numerous rounds of various types of chemo, two cycles of radiotherapy, countless MRI scans, and the worst and longest drawn out days, and weeks, waiting for results. I’ve watched Ben suffer, collapse, have seizures, lose the ability to walk, be scared to die, become very, very ill, and ultimately I’ve watched the man I love die. I say watched, and while I was there for the slow and difficult road towards death I didn’t actually make it in time that day. Ben died very suddenly (I was on the phone to him 10 minutes before he died. We were chatting happily about risotto) and we couldn’t get to him in time. I arrived too late and I have analysed seconds and replayed scenarios over and over… it doesn’t change anything. I’ve had to say the words ‘Poppy, Daddy has died’ to my 2 year old daughter. I’ve arranged a funeral, a memorial service, picked flowers, coffins, dealt with undertakers. I’ve dealt with the looks of pity and sadness and felt the actual pain of your heart breaking. I know people say ‘heart breaking’ and it sounds as if you know it would hurt, but trust me when I say that NOTHING prepares you for the feeling of your chest being torn open and your heart being crushed while your body tries to continue without a way forward. I’ve experienced IVF, daily injections, sitting in waiting rooms surrounded by couples. I’ve been asked by the theatre nurse as I was about to be sedated if my husband was coming… no, no he’s not. I’ve had tablets, injections and scan after scan. I’ve been congratulated on being pregnant, had a scan at 11 weeks before announcing the news. I’ve told my dead husbands parents they’re having another grandchild. I’ve had a 13 week scan which showed an anomaly. I’ve had appointment after appointment and then had to answer: ‘Would you like CVS, there is a 1% chance of losing the baby?’ How do you answer questions like that on your own? I don’t even know, but I did and I’ve done it all alone, and when they asked if there was anyone I wanted to call I’ve sat sobbing unable to form the words to explain that the one person I need to call can no longer answer the phone. I’ve laid on a bed and watched an 18cm needle be pushed into my stomach and wiggled around as they scratch the cells from the placenta and felt the irony of thinking ‘I wonder if this is what liposuction feels like?’ No Nicola…I’m pretty sure this, right here, is NOT a comparable experience! I’ve been told that my baby has no chance of surviving, but good news… you do have a choice. Would you like to kill your baby now or would you like to try to carry it to term and then watch it die? I decided to kill my baby (I couldn’t face watching another family member suffer and die) and then I’ve gone in to hospital alone, to the wrong ward with inadequate pain relief (unless I fancied heroin…then I was in the right place… kind of wish I’d tried that now) and I’ve given birth to a dead baby six days before I was due to fly on a trip of a lifetime. I’ve smiled and nodded sympathetically when friends who are married but who’ve had miscarriages have told me they know exactly how I feel. I’ve picked myself up and I’ve rebooked the trip and I’ve taken Poppy to the other side of the world and seen and done the most amazing things and I have had time to think, to be away from it all and to escape.

I often wonder if I’m lucky…there are lots of things that could have been worse. Ben had great healthcare, the babies ‘incompatibility with life’ (what a great phrase) was detected early and I was given choices and good healthcare. I have one incredible daughter, I have freedom and I am strong.

There were so many highs and lows on our trip away. It was an incredible roller coaster flitting between climbing volcanoes, snorkelling the Great Barrier Reef, watching the beautiful changing colours of Uluru as the sun set and rose again juxtaposed with challenges like losing the one and only item of Ben’s I had with me, just before his 40^th birthday (a £200 North Face jacket and the only waterproof I had). I’ve watched a storm rage and the sea swell which stopped us from reaching our paradise that I’d booked for Ben’s birthday as if Ben’s anger of not being here was swirling around us, and I’ve sat in a broken down rental car and cried so much that the man who came to fix the car fetched his wife who hugged me and offered us a bed for the night. We experienced so much kindness and friendship along with isolation and independence. And we’ve come back. Back home to questions. Home to two frozen babies waiting for a decision… more IVF? The builders are about to start the ‘final’ repairs on the house (I’ll believe it when I see it!). To decisions about school, about what to do, where to go, and what do I want, and I don’t have the answers for any of them… yet.

Then last week I experienced freedom. Mum was visiting for Mother’s Day and I went running without the buggy, I played netball for two hours straight, I danced the night away and got drunk and flirted and realised that I’m not just a widow and a mum… I’m still me too.

I went out with the most incredible group of people. Friends I’ve met at the young and bereaved café at Wheatfields. We’re all young and most have young children and so we’re all in the same boat. It sounds like the world’s most depressing night out but it’s really not! So now I’m on it, back to being me! No refined sugar for five days so far even though there’s been lots of cake around (we’ve been at cafes, parties etc.) and I feel great! I’m training, I’ve seen my friends much more than I did before and I’m starting to feel like I’m ready to face the world. I’m ready to answer:

• ‘Is it just the two of you?’

                Yes but it’s not ‘just’, no I know you didn’t mean it like that, that’s okay.

• ‘Where is your husband?’

                He died.

• ‘Are you a single parent?’

                I prefer ‘one parent family’ but I realise you might say that’s just semantics.

• ‘What job do you do?’

                I parent and I hold it together when it doesn’t seem possible. You might not think it’s a job, that’s okay, because it is.

• ‘What next?’

                I have no idea, and that’s okay. For now being happy is enough.

Today I found it hard when I looked at my step count and realised I’d had a bit of a lazy day. I felt the burden of being alone with Poppy, of not being able to pop out… ever! The prison of being a lone parent when what I really needed to do was go for a run and gather my thoughts. The answer took me longer to think of than I would have hoped but I thought ‘sod it’ to parenting and even though it was 5 pm and Poppy was hungry and tired I put her in the buggy and I went out in the sunshine and I ran. I felt life pulling me backwards, and I struggled to push the heavy buggy up the hills, but I ran. And as the sun shone on my face, other runners smiled at me, people looked at me like I was crazy doing an effort session in the park with a whinging 4 year old in a buggy, I just laughed. I realised that sometimes to be the best mum in the world you have to give your hungry child their dinner an hour late because you have to run and what you need matters too.

I often run in the park and see nobody I know but I was thankful to get a lovely smile and wave from Ralph as he cycled past and the same from Farhad as he drove past so that I felt like I was part of a club that I’ve felt distanced from lately.

Here I am, a ‘widow’ at 33 (God I HATE that word!) and I could hold my own in a discussion about cancer, death, funeral planning, miscarriages, terminations, world travel, PhD level chemical biology, IVF, subsidence, parenting and a whole lot more. So if you ask me how I am, I’m battered, I’m bruised but I’m fine… I can’t believe it! I’m actually fine, I’ve got this! I can do this! Truth be told, I’m feeling a little bit amazing… and why? Because I now know that I am unstoppable. 

Completing the Set

My run streak started on Thursday 27^th April. It was the first day of my holiday to Turkey with Manesha and we ran 5 miles… that seems like a lifetime ago now and I’ve got a fair few miles under my belt since then. We ran every day that week and I came home feeling inspired to actually apply myself to something for the first time in what felt like forever.

Where it all started!

Since Ben died I would have told you that I was coping and that I was okay. Looking back, I can now see (of course) that I wasn’t. I am currently in a really positive place and so can fully appreciate the toll that the years of trauma had on our lives. I’m feeling thankful to have come out the other side and, not to have moved on, but definitely to have moved forwards.

I’m not sure why I decided to run streak, I’m not even sure it was a definite decision. I think that Manesha and I were both surprised that we had run every day (especially as it was SO hot) and I figured I may as well just keep on doing it!

Before the run streak started Farhad convinced me to sign up for the HPH trip to Cologne so I entered the half-marathon (I’d not done any running besides plodding parkrun for the previous 5 months with the IVF, losing the baby and then travelling to Australia and New Zealand alone with Poppy for 2 months, so it was incomprehensible that I would run the marathon) and entering the half gave me something to train for. I had around 6 months so figured I could get some decent training in and might even manage a half-marathon PB! Farhad might also have mentioned that Liverpool Half was coming up… I entered it. Even if there wasn’t long enough to train for it properly at least I would enjoy a weekend with my lovely friend Krystal who lives in Liverpool. THIS is when I should have spotted the warning signs. If I was training for Liverpool Half then why not run the Leeds Half as a training run for Liverpool (nice logic Nicola…)?! That, in theory, is fine but I’ve always wanted to run a sub 2 half-marathon and as lots of you know I’m not the most patient person… 

Cue the holiday with Manesha and the sudden transition that needed to be made from parkrunner to half-marathon runner. The run streak was underway!

I enlisted the help of Eleanor Gallon (one of my running friends I most aspire to be - EVEN THOUGH she’s a Kirkstall Harrier 😉) and asked her to pace me to sub 2. I don’t think either of us really thought it was possible so we set multiple goals (Leeds Half blog). After we smashed the A goal I was starting to think that maybe there was something to this run streaking business (I can see Steve Darby rolling his eyes because he told me about 7 years ago that to get better at running you just have to run more, it really is as simple as that. The speed work and hill sessions can come later, first you have to be doing the miles).

I’m not sure when my intensity or training stepped up a gear, it’s all blurred into one exciting running journey! Several elements, additional to running, have been an integral part of my running journey:

•       My friend Donna was training to be an Ashtanga yoga teacher and asked if I’d mind being her guinea pig (she’s now qualified and an amazing teacher - well done Donna!). What I heard was ‘Nicola, can I come and give you one-to-one Ashtanga lessons once a week for free?’… um yes Donna that would be fine ;) I also put a 20 minute daily (or at worst every other day) core workout in to compliment my run streak. This soon became a 40 minute strength session and after I finished every session I did some of the amazing Ashtanga I was learning. It all went together beautifully and I was REALLY enjoying it! More importantly core strength is absolutely key to not getting injured if you’re doing stupid things like slamming up your mileage as well as increasing your pace.

• ·        Several members of Hyde Park Harriers had started going out cycling and I was pretty keen to get myself a road bike. As luck would have it I found Ben’s receipt for his road bike… I wouldn’t have cared how much Ben spent on his road bike - we’ve always been savers and savings are to spend on travelling the world and on things you love. Ben loved bikes, but I’m sure he told me his bike cost around £2000-£3000 so I was surprised to find a receipt for a certain Cannondale for £5000! Oh good – my bike budget just increased! After 3 months of research and searching I bought an extremely beautiful Liv Avail and feeling brave I clipped straight in!

The first photo I took of my beautiful new bike!

I surprised myself by just how much I loved the bike, especially as when I’d last tried a road bike I had HATED it. Being on the drop bars had terrified me so it’s come as a massive shock just how much I love it now. I think riding makes me feel close to Ben (especially as the red kites seem to follow me when I’m riding although maybe I’m just romanticising or imagining it). I feel like it helps me understand Ben and I feel like when I’m riding that perhaps he’s not gone because it’s like I’ve channelled my inner Ben and we’re riding together (totally soppy I realise!).

The main point about the yoga, the bike and the core workout are that my running has been so insane that I have been VERY, no, EXTREMELY lucky not to get injured. I’ve done just about every single thing that people say will get you injured, and amazingly, I appear to be getting away with it… for now (touches wood, crosses fingers, looks for a four-leaf clover and a rabbits foot!).

My weekly mileage quickly got up to 40-50 miles a week and running the minimum of a mile soon seemed like cheating and left me feeling disappointed! In the first few weeks I had been proud of myself for learning to just run a mile and accept that I should stop there… how quickly I forgot that lesson/discipline/self-control! After I ran Liverpool Half (on my own without being paced, and PBing comfortably) I decided that to run the half in Cologne was madness! Surely if I could smash two half marathons with just a little training then I should be running the full marathon in Cologne. I enquired, and before I knew it had paid my 10 euro admin fee, on the 1^st October I had a marathon to run. 

Whilst I’ve had moments of madness (like doing 4.5 hours of exercise on a rest day or accidentally running a 19 mile ‘recovery’ run the day after Thunder Run etc.) I have actually tried pretty hard to be ‘sensible’ while embracing the enjoyment of my new obsession. The consistency of running every day, doing my core workout, Ashtanga and cycling soon paid off and within a few months I was setting a PB at every race I entered (I’ve detailed my PB’s in a table at the bottom of this post). I started to think that maybe I could even consider myself a ‘proper’ runner! You know, one who enters races to do well, not just to have fun.

With 6 weeks to go until Cologne Marathon I’d PBed at every distance I’d run (1 mile, 5km, 10km, 10 miles & half marathon) but I knew the set wouldn’t be complete without a marathon PB. The problem was that I am impatient, I just couldn’t wait 6 weeks. I had gotten flu 6 weeks before the 2016 VMLM and didn’t recover (doing almost zero running in the 6 week lead-up to race day). I couldn’t risk that happening again and losing my fitness, I NEEDED a marathon PB. So in a moment of madness I grabbed a bag of dried fruit and nuts, a snickers and a bottle of Lucozade and turned my 20 mile training run into a 26.2 marathon PB. I had satisfied my need to run the distance although I realised I was peaking WAY too soon for Cologne.

I tried to maintain my momentum but the lack of childcare in the summer holidays was suffocating. I spent several weeks in Norwich in order to get in a decent training block (thanks Mum) but when I returned to Leeds I really struggled to maintain what I saw as my necessary mileage. Luckily Poppy loves our buggy runs and I did some incredibly hard buggy running to keep myself ticking over – the one that sticks in my mind is the 15 mile return trip to Tong Garden Centre because of the horrendous hills, my back hurt for 3 days after that buggy run!

Urgh! This is NOT a good route for a buggy run!

Before I knew it there were 2 weeks to go and we were doing the HPH Addingham run (after parkrun of course). It was taper time! My taper was not the most traditional… I just have no self-control! I think I’ve become addicted to racing… so the weekend before Cologne I ran parkrun in the morning, raced the Golden Mile in the afternoon and on the Sunday ran the Stainland Trail Race. Stainland Trail probably needs its own blog (for those of you I haven’t told about it a million times I finished THIRD FEMALE! I was absolutely floored… as if I won a prize for running?! A podium finish?! I literally couldn’t believe it, I’m still not sure I believe it despite having the beautiful etched glass to prove it). However, that race absolutely ruined me. I couldn’t run more than a mile a day after that and it was a really, slow, painful mile. I had raced WAY too hard, especially considering I was 7 days away from Cologne. The fast, steep and technical descents had taken their toll and I wasn’t in any shape to run a marathon. I saw Chris ‘magic hands’ Corcoran on the Thursday and he reassured me that: 1) it wasn’t shin splints; and 2) I wasn’t going to break myself by running the marathon. What more did I need to know? 😉

So off we went to Cologne! Even though my shins and calves still hurt when I walked to the start, I got in my pen knowing that I was still going for my race goals (which I’d told everyone was sub 4 but which I’d actually changed to sub 3.45. Go hard or go home right?).

A Goal: 8.30 min/miles for a 3.42.52 finish
(8.35s were too slow and I'd miss my goal by 3 seconds)
B Goal: Sub 3.50 so 8.45 min/miles for a 3.49.25 finish
C Goal: Stay under 9 minute miles for a 3.55.32 finish
D Goal: If all else fails GET A PB (4.38.01)

I ended up chasing a Good for Age time for the London Marathon to the wire, and missed out by just 54 seconds (3.45.54). Whilst being bitterly disappointed at the time I have now come around to being pretty proud of what I have achieved in the past 5 or 6 months. I’ve gone from running once every Saturday morning to running a very respectable marathon time and even finishing third in a really tough off-road race (and I know I’ve said it a million times but if that race had ruined my chances in Cologne it was TOTALLY worth it for the podium finish). My average comfortable pace has gone from around 10.30 minute miles to around 8.30 minute miles and I’m still getting faster?!

It’s been an absolute whirlwind: I’ve run almost 1000 miles (and as I recently got a road bike you can add another 500 miles on the bike too… not to mention the turbo that now sits in my living room). I’m not surprised it feels like I’ve been on a journey!

And JUST when you think a set is complete… you go and enter an ultra. 😉 My wise (and very fast) running friend Matthew Crehan once said ‘the trouble with runners is that we’re never satisfied’. You’re right Matt, we’re not, and hooray to that, because that’s what keeps me going. Next up is a sub 22 minute 5 km by Christmas. When my friend Tom, from run club, suggested this goal (after he paced me to my comeback PB at parkrun) I thought he was INSANE! I now think he’s a genius and I can’t wait to give it a try! Thanks for setting me an ace goal Tom.

My running to-do list now includes:

• Some serious track sessions (I’m on it);
• Experiencing blowing up (I just need to pick a race to sacrifice…);
• An ultra (which is coming soon, beautifully named the Short Circuit - ha ha!);
• Actually achieving running a negative split (I’m still not sure I believe in these); 
• Running a good for age marathon time for London (3.45) and Boston (3.40);
• And of course, ultimately, Comrades.

Long live the craziness - life is for living and I am hoping there is no end in sight for my run streak!

Oh, and rest... my running to-do list should have included learning to rest. 😉

Every PB, at every distance was from 2011, I've literally been plodding since then! Until now... now I have shiny new PBs!

I seem to have misplaced my child-free time... have you seen it?

I am loving my run streak but I knew the summer holiday was going to be a challenge because I would have zero help with childcare (my three child-free mornings a week have become very important to my sanity!). I realise am lucky; I have a running buggy, and I am even luckier to have a child happy enough to sit in the buggy while I run. The problem for me is that if I do too much buggy running I find my situation acutely oppressive. It becomes that I am not just out for a run, but the buggy becomes a metaphor for my life. Pushing the buggy on my own makes me feel lonely and like life is really hard which becomes a big problem for me because that’s not normally the headspace I occupy.

So… I was all hyped up about my running and was feeling a little smug to have easily maintained my run streak for the first week! When meeting friends I’d turn up in running gear and ask if I could dash off for a quick 5km, or Poppy would go on a playdate and I would go for a longer run. Since returning from our last holiday Poppy’s bedtime has slipped from 7.30pm to 9.30pm (which I would usually work to correct) but I’m embracing it as it means that I can take her to run club with me (without feeling like a terrible parent because she’s so shattered that I should be at home putting her to bed)!

I fancied doing a longer run today so I messaged a group of friends a few days ago asking if anyone could have Poppy for an hour and a half so I could get nine or ten miles in… let me correct that sentence! I THOUGHT I had messaged a group of friends a few days ago! It did strike me as odd that I hadn’t heard back from anyone after a day – the message hadn’t sent. So with almost no notice it wasn’t a huge surprise that I struggled to find somebody to look after Poppy so I could run. Well, that’s not strictly true. A friend who has an awful lot on her plate right now offered because she has a really big heart but I really couldn’t accept and I figured I better suck it up and get out there and attempt a long buggy run.

I woke up feeling really positive and got us both up and ready to leave the house by 8.15am! This was an achievement given Poppy’s new bedtime! We ran down into town and joined the canal. Poppy and I had compromised on what to do and agreed that if I got a long buggy run then she could choose going to the cinema afterwards as the thing that she wanted us to do. By 8.30am we were running along the canal heading out of Leeds. It was a great time to be running! For a start the sun was shining and rain was forecast for later so I was pleased I’d got us up and out to enjoy the best of the day. There were WAY more trains at that time of day than we’ve ever seen there before so Poppy was very pleased… but the number one reason that it was a great time to be running was the commuters.

As we ran following the canal, for a full half an hour there was a stream of people walking, biking or running to work. It was a really great feeling to be running away from that and I really felt for all of the people rushing to meet that time pressure of being on somebody else’s time. It was such a beautiful moment of realisation for me that, while attempting a long run with the buggy, which would normally make me feel trapped and alone, I felt the most immense feeling of freedom. I have nobody to answer to, no boss, no clocking in for work, nowhere to rush to… I am not part of the rat race and for now that feels pretty bloody wonderful!

We had a brilliant time and while I was running we discussed all sorts of things (foraging, electricity, concentric circles, how trees grow and how their roots disturb the tarmac of the path). Poppy’s absolute favourite thing was eating ALL of the blackberries I picked for her, as well as playing an imaginary game with our new friend Mr Thistle – Mr Thistle, although dangerously spikey, was particularly good at knowing where the best blackberries could be found… oh to be four again!

So, while essentially I had strapped Poppy into the buggy for almost two hours so that I could do a decent length run, in reality we had a wonderful morning together and I was left feeling like a pretty awesome parent. More importantly I felt more at peace than I have done in a long time; about being a one-parent-family, about not sending Poppy to school in September, and about not having to work at the moment. Today I am feeling thankful for where I am in my life right now which has surprised me, because this is a feeling that I haven’t felt for a very long time. Today’s buggy run was a buggy run that I definitely needed to have…

Hooray for Childcare!

 Thank goodness it is no longer half-term! Getting through a half-term while run streaking was a challenge and I am already worrying about how I will make it through the summer holiday marathon training…let alone run streaking! Anyway, today (day forty-two of my run streak) I dropped Poppy off at Steiner and I went for a run. A really good run. As I slogged up Stonegate early on I didn’t know it was going to be a good run, particularly when I inadvertently drafted an old lady on a mobility scooter up the hill. She was puffing away and her second hand smoke made me want to vomit…not the best start to a run. As I pushed on up the hill a beautiful and very strong tailwind appeared out of nowhere and literally pushed me all the way to the top of the hill, not the fake summit of Stonegate, but all the way to the mini roundabout at the top! I felt like I was flying, I could take on the world!

Obviously my legs were still turning over and I was pushing (I was meeting Helen Williams straight after the run and hadn’t mapped the route. It’s an old marathon training run of mine so I had a rough idea of mileage/time but didn’t want to be too late).  I remember thinking ‘I’ve flown up that hill, I hope my legs feel a bit more like they’re working or I’ll have to really push it up King Lane because I’m looking forward to that feeling of hard work and tired legs’. That really scared me! Running hard and really pushing myself has become a comfortable feeling. Not only has it become a comfortable feeling but I’ve started to enjoy it! In fact I think that this feeling may be the very bit that I’ve become hooked on! I needn’t have worried, there was such a strong headwind as I ran up King Lane that at times I was running completely flat out and was making no progress at all. It was an incredible feeling! I shared a moment with a young tree that knew exactly how I felt as we each tried not to get blown over! 

As I was about to run onto The Ave a kind lady waved me across in front of her car, only then I realised that she wasn’t, she was waving hello! I was very excited to see the gorgeous Sophie Rugg for a very mini running chat. Encounters like these make me really appreciate the Leeds running community. I love it when Leeds feels like a pretty small, and very supportive, place.

After running for forty-five minutes I realised that I had forgotten to have a proper breakfast. I had eaten half a mango as I was getting Poppy’s breakfast ready but I had meant to have something before I left the apartment only I’d forgotten. Not the best when heading out for a long run, I knew that soon all I would be thinking about was food!

As I ran into Alwoodley the wind died down and there was something poignant about the stillness of the wind on these Tory lined streets and the stark contrast to the wild strength and momentum the wind carried all through the Labour lined streets earlier in my run. I only hoped that this was reflective of tomorrow’s vote, although really, I have tried to avoid thinking about it as I daren’t have faith in this country after our recent record of terrible decision making!

Like a Tory term in government the Alwoodley section of the run was longer and felt worse than I had remembered or hoped it would be. Long drags uphill and old men smiling as they stand still to watch you run past as they stare at your chest. I decided today was not a day for the opulence of Wigton Lane (Throwback! Does anyone still do House Porn runs on Wigton Lane? I haven’t heard about them for AGES!) so I headed back towards Meanwood on the A61.

The only thoughts that occupied my mind as I headed back were those about food. I planned to panic buy some food at Waitrose on my way to meet Helen in the park. I reckoned a banana and a pot from the salad bar filled mainly with Greek salad would just about be amazing. Once I’d decided on what to look forward to then my mind turned to food I had taken on previous runs. I remembered one eighteen miler where all I’d taken was a mini bag of Milky Way stars. I remember eating a few and being really annoyed on discovering that there was just no substance to them. I think I was somewhere around Eccup Reservoir and I may have shouted ‘THEY’RE JUST FULL OF F**KING AIR’ to help get over the disappointment of not taking a gel or any real sustenance with me as I felt my legs tiring after nine miles but knowing that I had another nine to run. In contrast I remember running through morning sickness when I was pregnant with Poppy: I couldn’t even run 5km without eating a chocolate bar as I ran, if I stopped eating I would be sick! I used to love those pregnant marathon training runs. I would do a proper food shop half way round! My favourite thing on long runs were salted squares. I realised one day I may have gone too far when I walked out of the supermarket with a bag of Nice ‘N’ Spicy Nik Naks, a packet of Jaffa Cakes and a bottle of apple juice. Slightly excessive for a sixteen mile run but what the hell…I was growing a human!

On the final stretch down towards Waitrose, the sound of the wind rushing against my ears and tossing about the trees really made me feel alive. I really felt a sense that the world was moving. I was moving. Always moving. The one thing my journey has taught me is not to stand still. I thought of how I’ve moved through my journey in the past two years: some tentative steps facing the world as a single parent and the enormity of the task ahead, some brave steps, some bold steps out running with tears streaming down my face, some crawling barely going anywhere - convinced I was surely going backwards. But I wasn’t, always forwards and at the moment I can really feel it. I feel my strength, my momentum and my joy. 

I am always moving forwards... and at the moment I am flying. 

Who runs a PB that big, on that course?! Apparently I do?!

Oh my goodness...where do I start?!

I’ve been meaning to blog for the past few years! For a while (when I was co-presenting the parkrun show) I didn’t feel the need as I was chatting about my running every week for anyone who cared to listen, but since we stopped the show then I have been meaning to get back into it and now there is just so much to say!

I shall attempt to focus on one thing and today I must focus on the Leeds Half Marathon! Today was one of the best days racing I have ever had. 

I have dreamed of running a sub 2 hour half marathon for a really long time but have felt like it's been out of reach, and for years it has been.

I've had 6 weeks of decent training (off the back of two months with zero running and previous to that I was having IVF (or pregnant) so not training hard...so although I'm feeling good at the moment it's not on the back of any real running or training)...but...if you don't go for your goals then you'll never achieve them so after a decent run at the Guiseley Gallop (thanks Dan Waas for making me realise I had form! :D) I asked my wonderful Kirkstall Harrier friend Eleanor Gallon if she fancied attempting to pace me sub 2. She did!!! Hooray! We had a meeting yesterday to discuss race strategy and we had 3 potential goals in case it fell apart early on:

A) Sub 2 (I reckoned this was less than 5% likely...actually I thought it was unachievable if I’m honest! Whilst I’ve been clocking up the miles I’ve done little speed training and I’m not even running parkrun at this pace!

B) Sub 2.05 would still be a huge all-time half marathon PB on a course that is definitely not a PB course. I was hopeful we would achieve this.

C) Sub 2.10 would be a big Leeds half PB and would just scrape an all-time PB (2:10:03 from Norwich half in 2011). I thought if we started strong that I could probably hang on to 10 minute miles and achieve this.

I've lost almost a stone and a half since coming back from our two month trip down under. I've been doing a 10 minute strength workout every day, running more and mainly eating better with an attempt to cut out sugar. I've scrapped 3 big meals a day and I listen to my body and graze when I'm hungry which is amazing and stops me eating big portions of things as I'm eating until I'm not hungry anymore rather than eating until I am full. Seems to be working well although it’d be good to get back to my 2011 (wedding inspired) weight which means I’ve got just less than a stone to lose…not that weight loss is my primary goal. I couldn’t really care less, but for the fact that if you’re lighter you run MUCH faster!

I entered Leeds half a few weeks ago. I don’t really know why I entered it! It’s not my favourite race and I think the entry fee is extortionate now (I remember when it was £16…yes I’m showing my age!). I think what happened is that one night Farhad mentioned Liverpool Half Marathon and I have been meaning to go and see my wonderful friend Krystal for AGES so a run in Liverpool seemed sensible. I messaged Krystal who was VERY enthusiastic about the idea of us staying with her for the weekend AND her looking after Poppy on the Sunday morning! Once childcare is sorted then I have no excuse so I quickly entered. At the same time my lovely friend Toni invited me to Hull for a fundraising run across the Humber Bridge and I’ve always quite fancied running on the Humber Bridge so thought why not? We hadn’t realised exactly what it was but I dashed over to Hull to do Humber Bridge parkrun before the event started (there is scope for a whole separate blog piece on my illegal driving that morning and my fine for driving across the Humber Bridge without paying the toll!!!) and made it to the start for 9.45am. We thought the run was an out and back over the Humber Bridge but it was actually running over the Humber Bridge for two hours as many times as you wanted. Well of course we ran for the full two hours pushing poor Poppy in the buggy and before I knew it I had clocked up almost 13 miles that morning! After I’d done that I figured that as Leeds Half was so soon and I’d already done my training run so I would enter!

At the same time I was aware that the due date for the baby I lost was coming up and I wanted to go on holiday. As luck would have it a very awesome Hyde Park Harrier (Manesha) was available and we set off for a week in Turkey on a ‘running holiday’. It worked out much better than either of us could have imagined. We had an AMAZING time, laughed lots and lots, and ran every day and by the end of the week had clocked up 35 miles in 28 degree temperatures. Although the holiday was all inclusive we didn’t touch a drop of alcohol and we added in a gym work out on most days for good measure. I was lucky not to get injured really as apart from my one off 13 miler I’d ramped up my running from pretty much nothing. I came back from the holiday feeling incredible but had timed it badly and crashed in the next few days due to a number of factors. A friend (Susie) had passed away while we were on holiday, I had general post-holiday blues, it was the baby’s due date and someone I cared about disappointed me pretty badly. But because I was feeling really strong, and because Susie was the most inspirationally positive person you could ever meet then I was determined to pick myself up and find a positive way to go forward. On holiday I’d had the idea to start a run streak. I’d never run daily before (mainly because it seems like a totally crazy thing to do!) but after a week of averaging 5 miles a day then I figured how hard could it be to do at least a mile a day? So that’s what I did and am doing! I’m run streaking.

Run streaking hasn’t been easy. Poppy is at nursery 3 mornings a week so those days are easy (especially as my lovely friend Donna has decided to start running! YAY! As well as giving me one-to-one Ashtanga yoga lessons…what a legend!) but that still leaves 4 days a week with Poppy. One is parkrunday so I’ll always be running but the other 3 have been tricky. Poppy is getting a bit old for BOB (my running buggy) but I’ve just had to suck it up and push her round…plus let everyone know that I will now be living in active wear (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYRENWT8lz8) so that if they look the other way for more than one minute I will have left Poppy with them and will have gone for a run!

Going into Leeds Half I was feeling a bit tired. I had a sports massage with Chris ‘magic hands’ Corcoran on Wednesday and had accidentally run 8 miles on Thursday *cough TeeJay cough* plus I hadn’t been sleeping well… but I’d got Eleanor to enter on the proviso that she was pacing me so I knew that no matter what we had to go for it! I was feeling pretty nervous as I walked in to town. I hadn’t really thought about fuelling and had decided I probably needed a gel but I forgot that when I was pregnant I gave them all away as I knew I wouldn’t need them! So I’d grabbed a snickers and a banana to eat beforehand and put one of Poppy’s Chocolate Orange Naked bars in my pocket. I also had an out of date (by years!!!) packet of Lucozade jelly beans and a bottle of Lucozade…it didn’t feel well thought out but it felt like a nod to fuelling and luckily I can eat anything while I run so I wasn’t too worried about my lack of strategy! I was also worried about my shoe choice. I’ve got some awesome racing flats but they are best for shorter distances and when I wore them for Liversedge Half last year my feet really hurt by the end as they have zero cushioning. I figured that this PB attempt was mainly down to keeping my head in the game so I decided it was worth the risk as they weigh nothing and my feet feel like running fast in them so I went for it.

HPH party in the Green Zone!

Emergency gel phonecall!

It was a huge comfort to find the HPH party in the green zone and to find Eleanor too. We put our bags on the baggage lorry (we decided I probably did need a gel so Eleanor made an emergency call to Russell to add a gel to the Lucozade he was already going to give us!), did the obligatory ‘I don’t think I need a wee but I better just queue for 20 minutes to check’ and made it back to the HPH green zone party for photos all in good time! As we waited in the pens I stupidly checked my heart rate on my fitbit. It was 86 and we weren’t even running! I tried to calm myself down and then gave up and did some of the dynamic stretches that Chris had suggested we do. Before we knew it we were off! It was pretty busy at first and I am TERRIBLE at pacing the start of races. I always go for the ‘go hard and hold on’ strategy rather than attempt negative splits so I struggled that Eleanor kept saying we should ease off but we did and by the time we were on Meanwood Road we had started to get into a rhythm. I couldn’t help but scream and wave madly in excitement when I saw Jude and Nellie supporting outside their house (let’s catch up soon please!). This was to be the first of many amazing people we saw supporting us along the way. There were Hyde Park Harriers marshalling what felt like from halfway along Meanwood Road all the way round to Lawnswood roundabout! Plus there were loads of others just out to support and some on the move so we saw them more than once! It was incredible! There were also lots of friends on the route, Vicky, Jon and Isla I loved seeing you guys at this point as I'd pushed hard up the hills and you made me smile with your Leeds half party you were having! Plus I was inspired by your running Vicky, by your new shoes, your determination, positivity and general awesomeness. Rachel it was great to hear the Matt was ahead and doing well. A highlight was seeing Eleanor’s beautiful family who were our fulling stop to load us up with Lucozade and gels. I saw Ben et al. playing the drums on Kirkstall Road, Curtis and Jess (who had stayed round Friday night and done some fab parkrun touring with us the day before) with the best ever sign: ‘you look strong and stable’ :D Plus the support from the Kirkstall Harriers and from Bex…who almost missed us ;) was great! The support really was incredible and by the time we were running along Kirkstall Road I felt like an elite runner as the whole way round people were shouting ‘Go Nicola!’.

I struggled a bit with where I sit as a runner within Hyde Park Harriers. I consider myself to be one of the slower runners. I’ve only ever done one run in Group 3! So I had to stop myself from freaking out when I was passing all of the Group 3 runners, I just took a few breaths, didn’t stop to chat and just pushed on but it felt very VERY strange!

The bits of the course I was worried about were the long drag up the ring road, the deceptive uphills once you hit Kirkstall Road and the small but nasty hill half a mile from the finish. I wasn’t worried about Stonegate as I’ve trained it and knew I’d be on fresh legs at that point. Stonegate, as anticipated, was fine. The ring road drag was tough, I was attempting to eat jelly beans which was hampering attempts to push up the hill, or to even breathe really! Our pace had been good but I got the impression we didn’t have much wiggle room (I’d told Eleanor I didn’t really want to know and that I’d just push all the way round). After each hill I felt like I was recovering well and getting back on pace quickly and at Lawnswood roundabout I was so excited to see Rolf (thanks for the awesome photo) and lots of other HPH as I knew I’d just run a decent hill and had pushed when I felt like I couldn’t plus we were still on pace. We pushed on every downhill and I felt like I was flying. As each mile passed by I was stunned by how strong I was feeling and that I was managing the pace. Before we hit Kirkstall Road Eleanor said she thought she was confident we could achieve Goal A which totally freaked me out as we still had a way to go but in the back of my mind I hoped she was right and I wondered how long I could hold on to the pace. After the sneaky inclines on Kirkstall Road had passed and we were still on pace I started to believe we could do it…only a parkrun to go! Plus we had pushed enough so that we could even slow to 10 minute miles and still make it which gave me confidence. Surely I could hang on to 10 minute miles?!

WE DID IT!!!!

There was more amazing support along Kirkstall Road which helped me pick up the pace whenever I slowed but I don’t think we went much slower than 9.20s so we were comfortable. I almost hyperventilated when Eleanor said to me with a few miles to go that she wasn’t sure she could keep up with me! What sort of pace were we running?! Eleanor is a far superior runner to myself, both in terms of speed and experience and although she hadn’t really trained for this due to our last minute entries I knew that she could surely run sub 2 and wipe the floor with me so I was stunned! The hill in the last mile was playing on my mind but soon enough I found myself flying up it and smiling at Eleanor saying ‘what hill?’ who even had I become?! I hate hills! I couldn’t believe it. As I reached the final corner I pushed on and gave it a last effort in a sprint finish. We’d only gone and done it! My fitbit said around 1.58 when I stopped it so I knew we’d actually done it. Somehow I had managed to run a sub 2 half! I could not, and did not believe it but as soon as I collected my bag I saw a text on my phone confirming my finish time as 1.57.25! As if that was my time! MINE?! How was that my time!?!?! It was a warm day and a training camp in 28 degrees in Turkey with a very awesome HPH friend who inspired me by her determination and achievements definitely helped. It seems somewhat extreme to book a holiday before every race though ;) Still if needs must! In fact Eleanor…weren’t we going to get a holiday booked?!

I took advantage of the free medal engraving and the free sports massage (my legs seized as soon as I stopped running so thank goodness for the massage!). I then headed to the park to collect my girl, but stopped to grab a pizza from Rustica on the way…it would be rude not to!

I am SO thankful for this massage!

Eleanor and I are both so thrilled that we’ve done it! She is my superstar pacer and I must book her for some pacing jobs again soon! Maybe the new me doesn’t hate being paced?! To put our achievement into perspective, and for you stattos…

I’ve run Leeds Half 3 times before:

Year      Time

2009     2.19.12
2011     2.14.31
2015     2.13.26

2017     1.57.25

But in 2011 I ran Norwich Half twice with times of 2.10.03 & 2.10.13 so I had an established half marathon PB of around 2 hours 10 minutes. I literally cannot believe that today, on a hot day, on a hilly, tough course I have run a 12 minute 38 seconds all-time PB and a 16 minute 01 second course PB! I cannot get my head around how that much improvement is even possible, let alone with only 6 weeks training!

So that just leaves me my thank yous. Thank you, thank you, thank you Eleanor, your pacing was AMAZING (and I HATE being paced!). I'm so pleased we stayed together and so proud of us both! Now...our next meeting needs to be to plan our Comrades entry! Yes?!

Thank you Chris Corcoran for your magic hands and for the support on course...even if you seemed slightly surprised on Kirkstall Road that we were going to make it!!! Ha ha!

Thank you Farhad for renewing my Hyde Park Harrier membership for me and for getting me involved with the club again when I had disengaged and wasn't going to renew my membership...it was exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. Thanks also for prompting me to enter races: Liverpool and Cologne especially.

Thank you to all the amazing people who supported on the course, especially all the Hyde Park Harriers, Kirkstall Harriers and friends we saw along the way, you all kept me going. You did so much more than you know, thank you! ❤

Thank you Donna and Peter for looking after Poppy today so I could run. I literally couldn't have done it without you! ☺ She had such a great time, thank you Xx

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me and believed in me, I had no clue this was even possible! 

So now I'm scared...I've got Liverpool half in two weeks and I don't know what to go for! I really can't believe my time today! I can't believe I got to the top of the hill in the last mile and looked at Eleanor, smiled and said 'what hill?!' I can't believe I could still sprint finish, I can't believe I felt so strong all the way round!

I really feel like I'm starting to come out the other side of everything that’s happened. That maybe all of the terrible things I've been through are making me a stronger person. My attitude to pain has definitely changed. When you feel the physical pain of your heart being ripped out then destroying your legs doesn't seem like such a big deal! Right now I am loving life and do you know what...? 

I feel unstoppable!!!